Three Things Alumni Are Still Too Polite to Tell You (A 2026 Update)

For all the innovation in alumni technology and communication over the past decade, the core tension in alumni engagement has barely shifted. Institutions have more tools, more data, and more channels than ever before. And yet, many alumni still feel distant, overlooked, or contacted only when something is needed.

That disconnect isn’t new. It’s persistent.

With today’s context in mind, here is a current look at the three things alumni are still too polite to say directly.

1. “You never call, you never write.”

(And social media doesn’t count.)

In 2014, a major industry survey revealed that alumni felt disconnected because they rarely heard from their alma mater. Today, institutions communicate more than ever, through email, social media, alumni portals, and campaigns, yet many alumni still feel like an afterthought.

The problem today

Communication is transactional, not relational
‍Much of alumni outreach is limited to event invitations, announcements, and donation requests. These messages may be frequent, but they rarely feel meaningful or personal.

Personalization is superficial or absent
‍Many institutions still rely on broad segmentation or none at all. Alumni notice when outreach ignores their academic background, career path, interests, or life stage.

Social media is treated as a substitute for engagement
‍Posting content on social platforms is not the same as building relationships. Passive consumption doesn’t create connection, trust, or loyalty, and alumni know the difference.

The better approach: relationships, not just reach

Effective alumni engagement starts with treating alumni as individuals, not records in a database.

• Personalized outreach at scale
  Modern alumni database software and alumni engagement platforms make it possible to tailor communication based on interests, career milestones, geography, and past involvement without overwhelming staff.
  (See: Maintaining an Effective Alumni Database)
• Two-way engagement
  Alumni want a voice. Surveys, polls, and interactive storytelling create dialogue instead of broadcasts and help institutions learn what alumni actually value.
  (See: Measuring and Improving Alumni Engagement)
• Relevant, non-transactional touchpoints
  Career resources, networking opportunities, mentorship programs, and timely content often matter more to alumni than another event invite or appeal.

Key question for institutions:

If alumni engagement weren’t tied to fundraising, how would you choose to connect with alumni?

2. “You never call, you never write. And when you do, it’s only because you want money.”

This sentiment hasn’t faded, and alumni have even less patience for it now.

Millennial and Gen Z alumni, who make up the majority of alumni populations today, are values-driven. They give when they feel connected, when they see impact, and when they trust the institution’s priorities.

The problem today

Fundraising feels one-sided
‍Alumni are asked to give, but they’re rarely shown what their support accomplishes in concrete terms.

Giving culture starts too late
‍Many institutions wait until alumni are “financially established” before introducing philanthropy, instead of nurturing a culture of participation and belonging from the student years forward.
(See: Engaging Alumni Early Using Alumni Software)

Support is narrowly defined as money
‍Alumni want to contribute in many ways, mentorship, volunteering, advocacy, hiring students, but these options are often hard to find or poorly supported.

The better approach: engagement first, giving second

Strong fundraising outcomes are a byproduct of engagement, not the other way around.

• Designated and transparent giving options
  ‍Alumni respond better when they can support causes they care about, whether that’s scholarships, student wellbeing, research, or specific programs. Micro-campaigns and targeted appeals consistently outperform blanket asks.
• Peer-driven fundraising models
  Ambassador programs and peer-to-peer campaigns leverage trust within alumni networks and shift fundraising from institutional asking to community advocacy.
  (See: Alumni Ambassadors Driving Alumni Engagement)
• Multiple pathways to contribute
  ‍Institutions that value mentorship, volunteering, and professional engagement alongside donations build deeper, more resilient alumni relationships.
  (See: Alumni Engagement Program Boosts Student Career Success)

Key question for institutions:

Would alumni still feel valued by your institution if they never gave a dollar?

3. “You never call, you never write. When I give, you forget to say thank you.”

Alumni don’t expect lavish recognition for modest gifts, but they do expect acknowledgment. And yet, many institutions still rely on generic, automated thank-you messages or inconsistent follow-up.

The problem today

Gratitude feels automated
‍Bulk emails may be efficient, but they rarely feel sincere. Alumni can tell the difference between acknowledgment and appreciation.

Post-gift silence
‍Too often, the next message a donor receives after giving is another solicitation, without any update on impact or outcomes.

Stewardship is uneven
‍Major donors are celebrated publicly, while smaller donors are rarely shown how their contributions matter, even though they make up the backbone of participation.

The better approach: gratitude as an ongoing relationship

Gratitude isn’t a moment, it’s a practice.

• Personalized acknowledgment
  ‍Even brief, thoughtful thank-you messages, especially for first-time donors, can significantly improve retention and long-term engagement.
• Impact-driven follow-up
  ‍Alumni want to know where their support went. Student stories, program updates, and tangible outcomes reinforce trust and confidence.
  (See: Gratitude and Alumni Engagement During the Holiday Season)
• Recognition beyond dollars
  ‍Celebrating mentorship, volunteerism, and community leadership sends a clear message: engagement matters in all its forms.

Key question for institutions:

If gratitude were a core institutional value, how would your alumni experience change?

Moving Forward: What Has Changed and What Hasn’t

What’s changed

• Alumni expect personalized, relevant engagement
• Fundraising succeeds when it’s impact-driven and community-oriented
• Gratitude must be visible, authentic, and continuous

What hasn’t

• Alumni disengage when institutions only reach out to ask for money
• One-size-fits-all communication still doesn’t work
• Strong alumni relationships are built on trust, not transactions

Alumni relations isn’t about pushing messages. It’s about building community, earning trust, and delivering real value over time.

Institutions that embrace this shift see stronger participation, more sustainable giving, and lifelong alumni relationships. Those that don’t will continue to wonder why alumni never call or write back.

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If you liked this article, you may also like:

• Breaking Down Silos Key to Alumni Organization Engagement
• How Alumni Relations Teams Bring Vision to Practice
• Alumni Relations, Community Platform Providers Create Value

Would you like to explore how 360Alumni can help you create a more connected, engaged, and thriving alumni community? Let’s talk. 🚀